While Poll is all for giving the same opportunities to everyone - and she means no disrespect to those suffering from mental illness - she wonders if the population ought to be trying its hardest to get existing MPs of unsound mind out of Westminster, rather than letting more in?

This really does seem to be allowing the lunatics to run the asylum.

That nice Mr Nash went to see the kids filming Splash Camp in the Cotswolds last month, but according to Poll's sources, he failed to report the remark made by one of the world weary journalists as young Tino was telling how the girls had ganged up on him and beaten him up - see page 9 of this issue.

"He'll pay good money for that kind of thing later in life, " reminisced ex-All At Sea, now marketing manager of The Knowledge Zone, Rob Mitchell.

Poll hears The Financial Times ran a corporate hospitality event in Sydney Harbour recently as part of the title's launch into Australia. But things went a bit wrong.

It seems the navigation suffered slightly as the boat - Spirit of Australia; a 1992 America's Cup contender - sailed blithely past the magnificent Opera House. Or, rather, didn't sail past the Opera House.

She hit the rocks. Hard enough to tear the keel off.

The boat capsized, throwing several people overboard. Then the mast on the 22m yacht smashed a light on the Opera House walkway before the boat came to rest.

The Internet newsletter Scuttlebutt has the pictures at www.sailingscuttlebutt.com/photos/04/spirit/ Talking of boats on the rocks, the mystery of how Mirabella V managed to end up on the rocks off Cap Ferrat at the entrance to Beaulieu sur Mer harbour has yet to be solved.

The Ron Holland design office patiently explained the boat was already due to come back to VT Shipbuilding for a warranty and maintenance programme before departing for the Caribbean, so the opportunity to remove the keel and take a good look at things would be taken.

But still nothing has been said about how she found herself bouncing around on a lee shore.

Poll understands Jonno Johnston is still skipper, so there must have been mitigating circumstances, but Poll would love to hear from any readers in the know.

Or how about some creative thoughts on how she might have ended up there? . A vicious line squall - all of 15m wide - perhaps? A UFO abduction? Elastic ground tackle? She was hiding from Roman Abramovitch's bigger boat? Answers to poll@boatingbusiness.co.uk And Poll has to come to the rescue of her sisters in Portsmouth. The Romanian Navy was in town a while back so Poll and her colleagues took every opportunity to cement east/west relationships, only to read in the press later that those nasty navy boys had accused the local Pompey girls of being fat and drunk.

Poll can only say that she and her colleagues keep themselves in pristine condition for visiting navy boys and recommends they don't bother trying the pudgy and pissed, but no doubt gifted, local amateurs, but keep themselves for the attentions of Poll and her friends.

Knowing those Navy boys like a drink, Poll says she and her friends.

will welcome them back to Pompey with open kegs (well that's what it looked like on her copy - Ed).