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Portsmouth Poll - May 2011

24 May 2011

Poll-600

Poll hears a team of climbers attempting the north face of Everest has a secret ingredient to help them make the climb.
Viagra will aid the climbers by relaxing the blood vessels in their lungs to help boost the climbers’ oxygen intake. The blue pills work in the same way when required to boost the performance of other parts of the male body…
When questioned about the possibility of unwanted side effects on the band of Alpha males, doctors suggested the men probably wouldn’t be thinking about women during their 29,035ft ascent.

A Cuban cigar roller is to submit his 230ft cigar to Guinness World Records for recognition as the world's longest cigar.
Poll wonders how many svelte dusky Cuban thighs caressed that monster into shape.

Poll hears the latest movie sensation at this year’s Cannes Film Festival is a Hong Kong made erotic film called 3D Sex and Zen. It apparently broke Avatar’s record for an opening day weekend.
The film is about a Ming Dynasty scholar with lustful temperament, but a modest endowment who decides to have a penis transplant from a donkey.

After the shenanigans of the last America’s Cup contest between the Ice Cream Salesman and the Software Salesman, we now have the new multihull AC falling apart at the financial seams, says Poll.
   On 13 May, Mascalzone Latino, the Challenger of Record, withdrew from the 34th America’s Cup saying the team couldn’t raise the money to run a competitive challenge.
   So now we’re down to maybe 14 teams at best, with one of those being the current holder of the AC, Larry Ellison’s Oracle Racing.
   Poll says the number of teams hasn’t been confirmed since the last financial deadline passed by on 30 April, by which all teams were to pay a U$200,000 Performance Bond.
   The next financial hurdle will be a U$100,000 Entry Fee payable on 1 June. And teams ailing to compete in the first event of the America's Cup World Series in Portugal in August will forfeit U$150,000 of their Performance Bond.
   Oh, and there’s another U$800,000 bond due by the end of this year.
   Sir Russell Coutts, CEO of Oracle Racing, says a team could compete in the AC on a budget of U$20m.But to be competitive needs at least U$80m. Oh, and another thing. Each AC45 catamaran training boat - pictured above - costs U$1.25m.
   Poll says some commentators suggest as few as four teams could be on the start line in 2013.

Portsmouth Poll - May 2011

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