Portsmouth Poll - September 2011
School photos, British Waterways, Petro Tech International, ferry in Finland, Timothy Spall, Antibes International Yacht Club...
It’s the same every year, says Poll. When the A-level results are out, the newspapers are full of pictures of attractive young ladies beaming with joy, or crying, at their results.
Those photo journalists are pretty hot off the mark, Poll used to think. Then she read schools have recognised the value of publicity. So they round up their prettiest girls and call the newspapers, suggesting they might like to come and photograph the students as they open their exam results.
One journalist told Private Eye he was invited to a school sports day to scope out which girls his title might want pictures of…
One of Poll’s informers tells her British Waterways has a maintenance manager by the name of Lee King.
But her favourite Petro Tech International executive in Peru is the PTI president Poo Bum Suk.
Talking of being in the poo, Poll was amused to see a ferry in Finland ran aground after the captain got stuck in the heads.
Another member of the crew managed to slow the boat down, but, it seems, was unable to either stop her or steer her into deeper water. While nobody was hurt, and the boat was undamaged, coastguards are apparently investigating whether the captain's actions amount to criminal endangerment.
Taking a poo can obviously land you in the poo, says Poll.
Talking of which, Poll says she’s reminded of TV actor Timothy Spall, who was busy filming the last episode for his BBC4 programme – Timothy Spall: Back at Sea - on the dear old River Medway recently when he got lost.
En route to Chatham Marina, Mr Spall was on a 55ft Dutch barge when he found himself heading back towards Sheerness and the Thames Estuary. Those Medway mudbanks are quite confusing (and very smelly), says Poll.
The RNLI D class lifeboat at Sheerness was launched and put a man on board the barge, then escorted Mr Spall and his crew to a safe berth in Queenborough Harbour.
He was, of course, very thankful to the RNLI for getting him out of a potentially very messy mess. That Mudway mud is not to be toyed with…
|
|
And, making this a poo issue all round, one of Poll’s moles sent her this little picture of a pickup truck, the driver of which in the original picture is still sitting in the cab. |
Poll hears Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich was forced to moor his 533ft Eclipse off the coast of Antibes recently because Saudi sheikh Prince Aziz al Saud had got his own boat in the only available berth.
A spokesman for Antibes International Yacht Club said: "We regrettably had to inform Mr Abramovich's people that we cannot accommodate his yacht.”
Don’cha just hate it when that happens, says Poll?
Images for this article - click to enlarge
Unless otherwise stated, all images copyright © Mercator Media 2012. This does not exclude the owner's assertion of copyright over the material.
